Traveling Spouse

Anyone out there have a traveling spouse ?

I do.. and sometimes its nice, and sometimes it sucks.

                            I try not to lie. 

My husband is on the road a lot, which means a lot of sleepless nights, a lot of flight times, countdowns and quick cleaning on Thursday nights.

5 years ago when he started his job, I thought nothing of it. I literally had no idea what we were getting into.  I was so excited for him to start this career, and I'm still so happy that he loves his job but everywhere I looked, there was no support for what I was going through. At first I thought it would be easy, I work full-time, I take classes online and have things at the house to keep up on. 

Boy was I wrong... not about having time on my hands, but about how rough it would get. 

When people ask me what my husband does, I explain that he travels, and they always guess he's in the military. He's not, and comparatively the job is much easier, the travel sucks, but the job itself is not requiring he put his life on the line. He works on high voltage machines and does some electronic stuff that goes over my head... 😂

Having a traveling spouse is a different ballgame though.. You can't complain to friends because, "well he's just so lucky, and it really isn't that bad, I mean he gets to stay in hotels, rent cars and travel around the US."😶

Welllll, say what you may but it sounds so much more glamorous than it really is. I know I sit here and legit complain about my husband traveling, but it gets hard on the ones at home. I wake up Mondays and sometimes he's just gone because of an early flight, or I get home after a bad day and I have to deal with all of the chores that we may dread at the end of a long work day. There is no one to share that responsibility with, even though you signed up to have someone there at all times. There are days where I want to give him a call to vent it out, but the time difference isn't in my favor. There are days when you need your biggest fan in your corner, and they're out on the road. I know that I don't have kids, or even understand the struggle that others are going through, but that doesn't mean that my personal problems aren't big to me. 

Sometimes, I feel that I'm not able to complain about him traveling, because there are people who are gone months at a time, instead of weeks... there are people out there being a full-time parent while doing all the work, chores and everything else.. trust me, i know this. My mom was a single mom, and its not what she signed up for, but its how life turned out for us. 

But you know, with all of that... and more there are also some amazing things that come out of your spouse traveling!

Every time he calls, I rush to the phone, and when I get pictures, they're always of the random little towns he's visiting. 
When he gets home its butterflies all over again, and every Friday night I get the best sleep because he's by my side. 

Here's to another couple days, and that Friday rush will be back.. 

<< random small town art >>

Step Back, just once.

The 12 year old girl in me loves to look at quotes.
I save them to my computer, phone or even write them down. 

Words are just that though, just words. They may not be the truth, they're probably not from someone famous, but they somehow help..

I'm in a transition period... 
Lets call it that :)

We're moving in with my in-laws, and I'm switching jobs right before finishing my degree. Sometimes you look at your situation, and you're like "shit, this is not where I wanted to be."

I've felt that way for the last couple of months, and I was right, this is not where I want to be. I don't want to work a job that I don't love, I don't want my husband to work a job where he constantly has pain, and I don't want to sacrifice time from my family and my life in order to live paycheck to paycheck. So how do you change it?

Well for one, you need to put your damn ego aside. 
I have lived on my own for almost 10 years. I'm not old, and I know it's not that long, but its a sense of pride. Everyone's ego takes a hit if they find out they need to move in with family. I said no to the idea probably over a hundred times, due to the fact that I would be living with parents again.

Secondly, silence all the naysayers. People are going to talk shit, they will say rude things and make you feel like crap. Maybe not on purpose but it will happen. Be ready, and have thick skin. When we finally said okay, this is what we're doing, people were not nice. That is to be expected, they think you are broke and desperate.

Thirdly, know you are doing it for a good reason, and remember its just temporary. I'm in a place where it's smart for me to move in, because it will allow me to really excel when we move out, but I don't have to. I can make it work on our own, but we would be going in a circle, not getting anywhere, just making it work. That's not what I want.

I want to have kids, I want a house, a backyard and toys. I want all of that, I mean, who doesn't? But I know I am not there YET, and that's okay. Everyone has their own timeline, and I am only trying to be better than I was yesterday.

I've worried all my life about finances and bills, how I'm doing, what happens if this comes up, I over think everything. I know that I focus maybe a little too much on it, but that's what happens when you are raised by a single mom of three, who worked 3 jobs to barely get by. 

I want more. I want to enjoy life, enjoy my marriage, enjoy my home and so much more, but I want to have stability as well. I want to know that if something came up, I know we could handle it. 

I've tried to be more positive, thinking all good thoughts, because honestly when doesn't life throw extra shit at you? I mean, if I have made it through everything already, how am I not going to make it through anything else? 

W.T.S

So many things can be taken or interpreted two ways, it just depends on the person you're talking to.
Take my title for instance, which way did you read it?


Maybe after reading the post, it makes more sense, but honestly you can read it as

What the Shit

or you can read it as

What to Say

Either way is correct because I am not sure what to say and its annoying. I want to be able to blog, and have a post or two written out, but what do I say? What do I talk about? I don't want to sit here and complain or brag, but at the end of the day, is that all we do??    'cuz i'm about to.

But really, what do you talk about? Anything? Everything? Nothing at all? Do I talk about myself? My family, friends? School, work? Dreams? Plans?

How 'bout we just hit on everything?

Life is rough man, sometimes I feel that I have so much on my plate, and other times I feel like I should have more things to do! Some days I get crazy with cleaning my house, and others I feel like I live in a barn because its such a mess. It's all about balance, right? I mean you can't just do everything, no one is perfect, no matter how hard we try.

Thats something I have been learning lately, I've always strived to be perfect, and all the people in the world couldn't tell me it wasn't achievable. I worked my ass off, in school, at work, at home, etc. I didn't do much for myself. . I realized all this work was just a reflection of what I thought my life should be like, but I wasn't living it. I wasn't going out with my husband, because cleaning was more important. I wasn't enjoying the moment, because I had something more 'beneficial' to do.

So now?

I give... I don't give up, but I give. I want to enjoy my life, I want to enjoy my marriage, and school, and work, and everything that I devote my time to. If I am going to take a piece of my time and devote it to something other than my husband, school or work then it should be important and something that I enjoy.

Anyone have any tips on how to do this?
Anyone even reading?

Playing Catch Up

Everyone plays catch up.

The last draft I have was from 2013. Seriously? Three years ago.

Great blogger K.. Just great.. :)


Obviously I am not awesome at this, YET, but the fact that I'm here, means something right?

 

These last two years would have been a great time to write about everything going on, but when life hits you with everything at once...

some things are bound to fall by the wayside.

 

 

 



In the last 24 months...

 

I changed jobs,

Got married,

T got injured,

Took my nephew in fulltime,

Moved from the Midwest to California twice 

and so much more.

 

Life is funny.

I feel like right when I think things are going great, someone, somewhere, is like lets throw something else at them.. Think they can handle it?

 

 

The thing about struggles is that they feel harder when you are going through them, then they do looking back at it. I know in a couple of years I will look back and be like 'ah that wasn't that bad at all'. But right now... psssh, right now I'm like noooo please stop giving me more shit.

 

At the end of the day though, I have an amazing husband, a roof over my head, an education, and so much more. There is so much to be grateful for, that complaining just doesn't seem right. I'm working hard to focus on gratitude rather than complaining but I am human, and sometimes its nice to vent, scream, or whatever you do to de-stress for even just a minute :)

Today is a good day

Weight Off My Shoulders

I've been one of the worst "bloggers" ever.

<< i put the "" because I don't think I qualify as one >>

I don't post often. I have no good material to write about. I was using this as a way to share, but how much do I really need to share with everyone? Do I share everything or nothing? Where is that fine line?

I promise to try to be better.. on a lighter note. I started a new project. I'll give you a sneak peek with this picture!

 This weekend I was finally really positive and I wanted that mood to continue, and when I went to the grocery store these babies were only $3!! How do you pass those up? So of course I couldn't resist, and I found the perfect place for them!

To finish off this weekend, I took these two little ones to the park by our house and they loved it!! To the max! She was running up a storm, and was getting mad because I can't throw the disc like her daddy! Normally he throws the disc the length span of the park and she makes a mad dash for it! This time... pshh, she caught it in the air e.v.e.r.y.t.i.m.e. She would run back to me with this look like "c'mon mom, a little further would help"

My Heart is across the country.

The new year started, and so did T's job. I like to think that when things change it means for the better.

This new job is taking him everywhere. Everywhere as in different cities, different states and even different countries.

 While this is an amazing, let me repeat amazing experience for us, I know it will be hard for me. Hard in the way that we won't get to see each other. I know that if people are reading, they may think that I sound like a child for saying that. I know that not seeing your significant other is not a serious problem, and I don't want to act like it is.

I just mean its tough.

It's tough in the eyes of me, hes the only person who I can vent to. He's the only one who helps me get up in the morning, and he's the only one who I can have a blast with counting to 100.

<< Seriously that did happen. I don't know what we were doing but we were cracking up counting to 100>>

The first day back to work I made a statement joke about me not having a life because my life was across the country.

My coworkers said that I was pathetic, and while it may sound that way out of context, I am not. 

It's hard because I don't have anyone to talk to while hes gone, and I don't have "friends" per say. I have acquaintances, coworkers and family but I do not have friends. That's the hardest part. With him, my best friend, I can tell him everything. When I have good days and when I have bad. My heart is across the country right now, and I don't mind if I sound pathetic, because one day they will understand what I mean when I say that.

 I am not the person who spends every minute of everyday with him, and I am not moping around while he is gone...BUT, and there is a big BUT here... I am sad, and wish that time would fast forward already.

Third times a Charm?

I can't get into the habit of writing posts. There's so much I want to share, but at the same time... I don't know how to put it into words. 

With 2012 coming to an end, I figured I'd follow in suite with eveyones recap. I just started blogging, but it gives whoever reading a little insight into my life. I don't want to do all of 2012 because we didn't have many big moments, but there were a couple of biggies!

March:

 We moved into our first house! It's just a rental, but such a huge milestone! We finally moved out of apartments, to somewhere with a backyard, and the ability to park in the garage!

It was one of the most stressful, and amazing experiences. In the almost year we've been there, we've learned so much about living in a house, and surprisingly each other.

May:

T had his 9th surgery on his knee, and it went great. We rested, and enjoyed the visits from his mom and mine as he was bound to the couch. The surgery forced him out of work until the end of the year, but thankfully his knee is finally pain free!

August:

My sisters & I took pictures for my moms birthday & they came out amazing! My mom used to be a photographer, she loves pictures! The second best part of this month, I broke out of my shell! I am not the person who attends an 80's pub crawl! But guess what? I did!! I had so much fun! It was crazy :)

October:

This month honestly was an amazing month. It was our anniversary, and we took a trip to Monterey and just enjoyed each other. We got engaged on a beach just the two of us, and even went to the aquarium!

The end of the year was really busy for us, we hosted Christmas, and had a billion birthdays in the last couple of months. With the new year comes new places and people. Thomas gets to start a new job in a completely new city and I'm following. I couldn't be more thrilled to start 2013. 2012 was such a great year, I can't imagine what 2013 has in store!